..snapshot..

I’m back, I think I am sane enough to write over here again. Yes I just said sane enough. I’ll elaborate, okay actually no I won’t but I will say this, I write in two places. One is happy and the other is not. Rather than dragging you down with me, I go to a more private place to wallow and when I feel better back I come.

 Currently I am sitting in my office having lunch. Writing and having lunch is sort of multi tasking right? Today I am wearing a dress, it’s my most favorite one and I have on a super soft sweater. It’s the best kind of day, clear, crisp and cool.

Yesterday morning I went for a walk it was so foggy I literally could not see five feet in front of me. It was wondorous and I enjoyed every second. It almost felt like it was raining but it was a fine, fine mist drifting about from the thick fog. I hope everyone is able to experience such a salubrious environment.

Okay so I am finished my lunch, actually writing and eating did not work so I ate and now I will write.

Today is the Feast day of our lady of the Rosary. I enjoyed the homily very much, but it stirred something in me that I couldn’t identify. I will think about that some more. I love the name Dominic. If I ever had another baby boy, I’d like to call him that. I learned something this morning, St. Dominic founded the Dominicans. That sort of seems obvious to me now, but it was interesting none the less.

Dd and I have a dream. It’s a plan sort of but if it works out it would be wonderful. In nine years the summer I turn forty, she will have graduated high-school. She and I are going to Europe. We want to visit different places for different reasons. This morning, Toulouse, France was just added to my list. Some of my favorite saints have lived, taught, and died there. It’s quite interesting.

I think for reasons I have yet to discover having something just for her and I to look forward to will become very important some way in the future. I can only speak from experience, but when I was young I didn’t give any thought to my future, I had no hopes or dreams or aspirations. I think it’s important to always be moving forward. Nothing should ever be done with out knowing why we are precisely doing it. I’m not talking about faith or spirituality, but in our material world, nothing should ever be done without a clear purpose. When it comes to God, then I believe it is okay to trust blindly. It is only in God can we follow with out caution.

There are many places, we will visit with our maps, backpacks and rosary beads. I don’t want to be a tourist, I just want to see humanity. I hope having this as a goal will help to open her mind to what a small rather insignificant piece of the world we live in. It’s important for children to know there is more out there than just Redford St. and Wal-Mart.  You know what I mean?

Okay back to the present. Thanksgiving is coming. Our Thanksgiving tree is set up and we have all being considering the things for which we are most thankful. The thanksgiving tree is a tradition in our home. Every year the kids and I go outside and pick some branches and put them in a vase, then we cut out ‘leaves’ from stiff construction paper. We,  over a period of time write what we are thankful for on the leaves and then glue them to the tree. This is a little side note, but two years ago the original O, Dh’s Abuelita was here for thanksgiving. This is her leaf.

She went into the hospital the next day and died a week later. It was sad and happy, as happy as you can be when someone you love passes away, and sad of course because we miss her, but happy ultimately because I know she is in Heaven with God. And really you couldn’t get much happier than that. It’s funny, the little coincidences we experience in life, today the feast of our Lady of the Rosary and me remembering so vividly the woman that brought the devotion into my life. She taught me to pray, and by example and in her last hours showed me if you will, the strength that those little beads contain. I’ll never forget one time in the middle of one of my turns at the hospital (we shared in sitting with her, day and night) during the night, in that dim hospital room picking up her beads and just starting to pray. I didn’t know much, I didn’t know about the meditations or the mysteries I just knew that for as long as I knew her she faithfully prayed everyday for all of us, so I using her beads prayed for her.

I felt something, I know what it was now, because sometimes I experience the same feeling while adoring Jesus.. It was the Holy Spirit. That room there in the middle of that night in October was filled with the Holy Spirit. She died on a Friday. That woman was pious until the very end. What a blessed death.

So as this thanksgiving approaches, I will think less about my needs and wants and try to be more aware of all the blessings around me. Like O, I am thankful to God to have my family near. That’s all that really matters.

Now to get back to work, I have about 30 lbs of apples I picked from a friends tree the other day that need to be skinned chopped and turned into applesauce.. Did I mention that I love fall!!

~ Have a wonderful day~